I've never been a direct witness to an accident quite this serious. It's strange the tricks that your mind plays with you. I've asked myself if I thought I could have caught her, or even just reduced the impact. Foremost, I've asked, what if?
I was in the first row on the balcony when it happened. I heard the snap of aluminum on aluminum over the music. That pop was a sound I know well from using a caribeaner for a keychain. The sound of the gate snapping shut. I saw the light shine for a moment against the oval metal of the caribeaner at her waste. In my mind I knew something had happened, and things were not right. Immediately, I thought of standing up and shouting "STOP!", as if somehow things would have frozen in time had I done that. For a brief second it seemed so clear, this was what should be done.
Moments behind that thought came the doubts. They crept into my head, surely I was wrong. How stupid would I look in front of several thousand people attempting to stop a show because I thought I'd seen something. They rehearsed over and over and I don't even know what the next movement is going to be anyway. Surely, they know just what they're doing.
Just as those thoughts became clear, she leaned back. She trusted her equipment and practice, something every performer does. In this case though, the harness was no longer attached to the rope, and she fell. It's surreal to remember. It's worse to think that somehow I had an idea that something was wrong and didn't act.
